G.O.P. and the death of all things...

There's been a great deal of things going on these days. Looks like the G.O.P. is looking to become dictators in some states and just plain sucking on the cock of big companies. I'm of mixed heritage, being Irish and part Native American on one half and a witches brew of European on the other. My grandparents on both sides, never met. And I am glad they did. My Mother's parents being southern blue bloods with enough money and connections to take down a small third world nation were very hard core "Republicans". My father's parents were just hard working people doing the best they can for family and friends. I haven't any idea what they chose for political views. I didn't know much about my grandparents until after they passed away. Both my parents being the black sheep of their respective families does place a damper on knowing the extended parts.

I however grew up in a housing development, with 2 younger brothers and my parents doing all they could to raise us right. Money was always tight, work was sparse from time to time and life wasn't always hugs and kisses with the family. I learned the value of a dollar and how to earn it. How to fight for your worth. How to create a strong friendship and family bond. What it means to be an American. I've learned more about the beginning of this nation than most people do. This is only because my home state of Massachusetts was one of the first colonies. Also where the first shot to earn our county's freedom was made. I'm a proud American. I'm a working American. I'm a human being.

Now, I've seen the G.O.P. do a lot of interesting things throughout history. Some good, some bad, and too much of it is sneaky underhanded stuff. I'm not a fan of some of the more recent BS they are spewing to the public. The Tea Party people are blind and dumb. These people are ignorant fools who know nothing of what they claim to represent. Boehner of Michigan is trying to be Mussolini. Walker of Wisconsin is fighting against the American way of life. Both of these men are using "Budget Problems" to control everything. I find this sneaky and underhanded. As well as Against everything I've learned about the Government. Both men should be impeached and tried as traitors of the USA. These types of people don't care about anything else but their wallets and their masters. The masters being companies trying to keep big money for themselves on the labor of the regular citizen.

I'm fairly ashamed to be a US citizen at this point. If you don't have money you don't matter. I'm just a random citizen of this once wonderful nation. There seems to be too much BS floating around. The nerves of this nation are starting to get truly frayed and not a single person knows how to "fix it" or "make everyone happy". The G.O.P. only have their own interests at heart. The Democrats are too wish-washy to do anything about it. Obama needs to turn his man card for not having the balls to do what he says. Don't compromise with the idiots that ruined everything. Just get shit done. At least that's how Bush Jr did it. He did shit how he wanted no matter what anyone says. He may have been a tool and a puppet, but he handled shit.

The G.O.P. wants cheap labor and more money. They don't want anyone who can't make as much as they do anywhere near them. They'd wall them off like lepers if they could. They want to keep the population stupid with low education funding so they can lie to your face and you'll believe it. It's sad but I feel this country heading for another civil war. And when it happens. It will start the process all over again. The founding fathers created this country knowing the type of Government wasn't 100% fool proof and prone to corruption. That's how it is.

Michelle Bachmann...

The soulless, brainless, useless cunt of America. Being from Boston and having the revolutionary war being taught to me through nearly every year of my schooling. I know all about the Tea Party. This woman has no idea what it meant or stood for. She's stupid and hold a public office for no reason. Her "party" is a falsehood.

All the news...

So yeah, new setting new post. Might as well. I'm sitting here at work on the 52nd floor of some building waiting for something to happen. Sort of like an on call seat of sorts. Well I'm not in Boston anymore. I'm in the middle of Seattle, Washington. I sort of uprooted everything and took a bus cross country and now reside here. I have been here for 1 month and 2 weeks so far. I've got a job, and am slowly starting to make friends. It's not a huge deal I guess. Yet I still feel like an alien in my own country. I know it isn't too different from back home but different enough to make me rethink most of what I do here.

So with all that I've been reading a boat load of books. Nothing worth mentioning as of yet. I have also taken a liking to the lake up the road a bit from where I am staying. A semi-peaceful place to sit in the good weather, read, write and just exist. Not to mention watch people go along with daily life.

I know I am bit far out of my comfort zone and a bit out of my element. That doesn't stop me from making the most out of it. A lot has been going on and barely anything has been happening all at once. I'm my usual quasi flustered self trying to make sense of the choices I have made that brought me here. I miss Kat like a mad man. I feel like I'm a bad father for leaving her on the other end of the country with her mom. I had to do something to change everything and do what I could to make sure I could do the best for myself so therefor I could do the best for Kat. I wont lie and say I'm happy. I'm working my way to getting to a place where I'm hoping to be happy. If that makes any sense.

Word of the Day: Sane

So I am not quite sane. I do feel different. I do feel a bit a change not only in the wind that is trying to catch up with me from the cross country move. Also a change in myself. I know something new of myself is going to happen. I wouldn't say I'm scared of the idea of change but I not know what to expect from it. I await it all and wake up each day at least willing to face the day ahead of me. I'm no longer staring at those same 4 wall and wondering what's life got left for me.


Least now I'm asking What's next for me?

these dire times...

After much consideration and an increase in personal need for a new life. I have decided on a great number of items to fulfill the voids created by myself over the past year or so. I made 3 plans. They follow each other in a sequence like steps. They are 6 point plans. I am at point 4 of the first plan. I see point five arriving sooner than expected and I'm not looking back.

I have stood up and dusted myself off almost 3 or so months ago and with that I have found new purpose and meaning in what I do and how I approach life. These things I know.

Plan 2 starts in early November if things stay on track. I may have a plan but some minor flexibility is allowed. No more than a 16 degree angle though. I'm not bending over backwards to keep the world happy anymore. I'm not letting pride, or some misguided sense of being a man cloud what needs to get done.

It's simple if I can finish my 3 plans. I will know I can do anything. I'm firm but not an ass about it. So I've got baggage and I fell so hard it has taken way too much time to do anything about it. It wont stop me now.

Word of the Day: Patience

I will do what I say and just stay on my path.

Where for out thou sleep?

And on the 7th day God rested. I'm glad someone got to relax for a day. This isn't another rant like my previous few posts. I'm just having toruble sleeping and can't seem to keep a single thing in perspective as of late. I've a large plate and a very little stomach. I'm down to maybe 1 meal a day. Trying to keep myself afloat with what very little I have. Only concern I have is making sure P and Kat are taken care of first. Looking for some direction has never been harder. With nothing to back you up it's even harder. I'll keep looking for a bright side to things in a pitch black box. 

Now if I can find a way to sleep...

Perhpas something is missing today...

It seems these days are all melting together in some weird way where I can't tell them apart. I've been keeping myself busy as of late with a number of things. I'm in the middle of joining a lodge. I'm scouring the world for work. I'm even reading more. It's not all fun and games but a matter of neccesity these days. I've been watching the developement of a number of things happening here in these United States and a few things I just don't get.

The republican party has lost power and I'm hoping it stays that way. As the days move forward i find it more and more difficult to understand the mind of these peolple. No that's not a typoe they are many people but only one mind it seems. Most of these Political fugures from the right have made bad choices for our country. Left us broke and forcing a debt that wont be paid off for several generations. Wars that had no meaning. they've all lied to us out of some retarded reasoning. 

Texes seems to want to split away from the union. I hope my friends get out in time. I have a feeling if they do they'll beecome a aprt of Mexico again. Thier loss and stupidity. 

Ok I'll make it all simple. These right winged nutjobs have most of the country's wealth, have had the best schooling, have a position of power and still have ideas of an imperialistic America. Someone should start reeducation centers that Senator Bachman was talking about just for these kinds of people. I mean are you so closed minded and locked into your own little picture of a bubbled and sheltered life you can't see there are other people that are on this planet with you? 

a number of people sitting in seats in DC were elected by the rest of us to help run the county. They are for the people and by the poeple. Yet they don't seem to care about the people. They claim to do everything in the name of the Constitution and what is and is not Constitutional. They make up the rules as they go. Not caring if it doesn't make them money or get thier point of view heard. I have seen many people like these in high school the snobby little brat that can't see 4 inches past their noses. 

I would hope to think as a country we would see past all the bickering for your own way and help people. They are still racist and think like they are still Nobleman under the King's rule. Talking about teabagging parties and everything. Taxes are taxes, you pay them or you get into trouble. I'll keep it simple here too. Those teabaggers 15 days ago were protesting new taxes introduced by our president to increase the revenue and the society running. Ok It wrote it all out in plain english for all to see and it was still less than the Taxes Reagan put into place for the rich. It give the reagular working man a little break and actually starts the proccess for the old saying "the more you make the more they take". I've always hoped that was true but if you look at the actual fugures the percentage of taxes taken out from my check are much higher than that of Rupert M. and others like him. And if I made more the percentage raises slightly higher. So why isn't it so for people making over a certain amount? Ok the boston tea party was about people loyal to the king imposing new taxes on people out of thin air and just making it up. So without warning they'd add new taxes to it and stuffed thier own pockets with the cash. With all that said I find it quite the opposite of what's happened here this past month. They are protesting tax breaks for the average joe that is plain to see and take money away from the people who make it the most who keeps it from us anyways?

Doesn't make an sense to me. Further proof that the right end of things aren't all there. I used to be a religous watcher of Fox news. I used to be a HUGE fan of Bill O. Now I realize he's just a hate monger and an IQ less than a four year old. I find his views very blind on nearly every topic. He's the right wing's puppy for money. His books were funny and full of lies and tales from his imagination.  I'm almost sorry he's from Boston. I hope they take his name off the books and the schools take away his degrees in shame and appologize for letting someone like him pass through thier halls. 

Don't get me started on Congress Woman Bachman she's a tool. Her idea of science is Adam ate the apple and was gay that's why there are people that aren't like me on the world. She's full of lies and stupidity. Everytime she opens her mouth I laugh. She should do comedy. I might actually pay to watch her act this foolish. I thought the older you ge thte wiser you become. Not in these circles at least. They're mostly inbred anyways. Marring into tha same families to keep the money for themselves. 

Ok it's all laid out there. There's plenty of proof of all this out there don't be afraid to actually look it up.

What is love?

Not just a Haddaway song. But what is it really? Perhaps the dictionary has the meaning of the word but not the meaning of it's true identity. Love is the only thing that can never be explained. Perhaps this is why it's a greater mystery than god himself. Perhaps this is the only piece of our existence that can never be changed. To love someone is the ultimate point of existence. When you loose someone a piece of yourself is lost. Learning to love isn't easy nor is it very hard. We are hard wired to feel emotions. There's a purpose for this that no one can explain. I find myself on a tall wall. I can't see the bottom of this wall. I can only feel which way to fall. I hold in myself a conflict. A battle of wants and desires and needs and everything else.  There's always been this part of me that's too selfish to uncaring too stubborn to do anything. There is another part that becomes to caring, to complacent overly swayed into things.

I'm either a puppet of a sick game or some guy who can't think about anything more about my needs. I'm in a slightly sullen mood. 

Words of wisdom? I have none. Words of advice? I'm all out. Words of comfort? Just empty lines to another lack luster play. I just type here wondering If my mind or my feelings are right? I wish I had more control over things in my life. Perhaps I do and I just need to look into finding that inner strength we all have and going for it. 

Perhaps i'm just a guy with everything to loose and nothing to gain. Maybe I'm just settled into some pit I can't find a way out of. Weither it's depression, apathy or I'm truly lost in my own head.

Come to think of it I do tend to dwell on the problem longer than trying to find a solution. I shall skip the issue and just correct it? Perhaps this it hat it means to take the bull by the horns. I need to be more actively involved in my own life. Or more simplely just open my eyes and see beyond my own thoughts. 

I do love. Without question or doubt I do know this. I just do not know why that when I find it I hold onto and think will always be there no matter what. I neglect what I have. I keep forgeting the words I love to speak. Love is a two-way street. It always is in the begining. Then it become one way. With my minor handling of clean up and trying to cover the pot holes every now and then. 

For once there is something more important than myself. I can almost believe the fact as it stares me to my soul. I want to give more than I have. Without feeling or thinking too much about it. I just have to get things done.

I have loved and lost a few times. And I'm tired of learning how to lend my heart out over and over again. I'm a guy with simple likes and dislikes. I may be over zealous at times about certain things I know.  I just don't want to have to learn again. Loose my las thread to the happy part of myself. I want to be happy I want my family. I want myself back.