That's not chicken...

Ok I love spending time with P and her room mates. Going out for lunch is always fun. Although with my lack of their shared language does place a damper on my portion of the conversation. I do tend to try my best to be fun. Also the only issue I do have is their love for sea food. Which I can't eat any of. I try not to be a rude guest but it's hard when what they serve is a health hazard to me. But I enjoy it anyways.

Word of the Day: drowsy

I've been doing a lot of work in the back room filing and getting things ready for the shredder and needless to say the dust isn't my friend. My nose is running like the NY transit system and when I take something for it. I become a zombie from beyond the grave. But I'm sure I'll manage.

In other news. I've opened up my lists of job concepts to further my chances of getting something better for myself. Not solely focused on the schools anymore. I may have to push off school for just a little longer to get myself in order first. Small price to pay for perfection I guess. Also looking forward to getting things on track. I'm doing my best to support P in her endeavors.

Breathe in...

and now OUT!

Cleaning my soul as I wish nothing more than to relax and get through life best I can. Some things have been planned in the hopes of mutualhappiness for P and I. As she's gained a more positive edge on her future here, I have seemed to hit a stalemate with my work options. It's down to waiting things out and seeing what happens.

Word of the Day: w00t!

It's all good a few games of pool on yahoo last night earned me some just rewards. Nothing evil just simple things. P and I enjoy any time we have together. It's like we're each others Happiness or something. As for me I'm content in myself to be happy with her. If that makes any sense. Anywho work calls. I'll try to keep this updated a little more regularly.

Devoted and more...

I've been doing very well. As for my dearest she got sick. I cared for her hand and foot for the weekend. I'm glad she's feeling better. Had an interview at MIT yesterday. Went very well. Considering I knew more than the guy interviewing me about the JOB and it's details. All in all I can say it was a good day.

Word of the Day: calm

Plans for the weekend aren't set but would like some time with the little lady. Also got more plans and other interviews set up for future dates. Life is traveling fairly these days.

Try, try again...

OK this is the 8th time in 2 days I've tried to post and it's starting to get a little bothersome. With P home things have been fairly smooth. Her nagative approach to some things has really get her stressed out and feeding her cold. I took care of her yesterday while she needed some meds and companay. I did my part of the "good" boyfriend. Easiest thing in the world if you ask me.

Word of the Day: yet

Nothing is set in stone yet. So that gives P and I a lot of room to work out the details of our relationship. We're not feeling rushed or pressure from anyone. So it give us a chance to work things at our own pace. I'm very happy and supportive of her ideas, as she is of mine. Our partnership is best descibed as a friendship with emotional investments. We're not physical, other than a kiss or hug here and there. I'm not the typical "horney" American as some has stated to her. I'm content to just be with her. It's all for the best anyways.

A return...

P has returned to this old city of mine. As happy as I am, it seems almost bittersweet for the both of us. For her having to find her routine with work and everything else. I've decided to stay out of her way for a while until she finds herself again. As of now things just need to stay a little separated.

These past 2 days have gone well for the most part. Picked her up form the airport and we followed the plan I had for us. It went well. Today was very enjoyable as well. After mass @ Copley and food in the foodcourt. We took a leisurely ride on the Swan Boats and then toured some Tiffany glass paintings in a church on Arlington St.. Afterwords we toured Fenway Park. Granted I should have knew she'd be half dead through most of the afternoon. I dropped her off at home for a nap and time for herself. I hope she settles in fairly well.

Word of the Day: fine

I'm just fine I guess. Granted the nature of P and my relationship has sort of taken a more slower approach. I do think it's a step in the right direction. The absence of fast burning time and energy while we're together isn't a negative thing I suppose. If I were my former self I'd take it as a sign things wouldn't work out in the end of all this. Part of me still thinks of these things. But I fear not. For I know I have my life to deal with as well as she hers.

For now I've manage to work my way through Doom 3 and it's not something for the faint of heart. I play it sporadically for it's slightly overworked my imagination and transposed itself into my dreams. Not fun when you wake up fearful and full of dread. I guess it's time to put my house in order and wait. I have many ideas and plans. But still uncertain on how to deal with them or start things up. I'll make my start to conquer it all in the morning.

I'm happy P is back. She seems to be too. But I can tell something is bothering her. Maybe she's just tired form the trip. Or I'm not seeing the whole picture. I suppose time will reveal all things.

32 hours 52 minutes remaining....

Tomorrow P comes home and I get to kidnapp her for the weekend. Well ok not kidnapp, but I get to spend the weekend in her company. Perhaps I'm selfish with this idea but I haven't seen her in 32 days. I only asked her for some private time for the both of us to just be together. I can wait it out and count the time until she's supposed to be landing. 7pm Saturday night. If all goes well I'll be holding her hand by 7:30 at the latest.

Word of the Day: anticipation

Doom 3:
This game is not only a needy one, but also one that completely sucks you into it. I mean yeah I got a new graphics card and all, but I still can't turn everything on graphics wise. It's extrmemly needy for a POWER machine. My machine is about 3 years old. But can sun it decently. Anywho, I'm slowly working my way through it on a harder level. For the one I was on last time was a touch too easy. It's very scary and not something you play in the dark or by candle light for that matter. Gory and beautifully done this game is etched in my head and will be at the forefront of my gaming experience from here on end, least till I get HL2.

I wait for my love. Things should go smooth, all prayers being sent express to any and all Gods listening. P's welcome back present has grown in size from 2 items to about 4 or 5 now. I don't really care the cost or anything it's the symbol that counts. The love that is expresses and her feelings she shall shower me with for them. I now wait and count down the hours and minutes for her to be back in my arms. 32 hours 40 minutes and couting....

5 more...

Ok, personal projects are all moving along well. Life seems to just follow some steady movement. As for everything else, well that's another story. I'm caught between my wants and needs again. Well sort of. I'm trying not to be greedy or anything, just really wish to get something. But I have a plan in motion that sort of over powers my wants. A need is more important at this point.

Word of the Day: control

I truly feel strange doing things like I say I will and sticking to plans. It's also odd how I tend to stray away from my older more comfortable self and see myself in new eyes. I can't blame anyone for my past. It's my own life I suppose, sadly wasted as it once was. I'm almost ashamed of it. Although there is no turning back, I still see a cloud over me.

BIG NEWS!!!
Got a Cell Phone!! WOOHOO! I'm moving up with the rest of folks. I know everyone and their mother has one. I know it's not such a MASSIVE deal or anything, but I thought I'd never get one. Never really needed one to be honest. But as I'm spending less and less time at home and out and about. I thought it'd be a decent way to allow folks to keep in touch or something. Anywho ask me and I'll share my whereabouts with you in terms of a # in which I could be reached. A basic plan is all I needed and It's fairly cheap too. So in the long run I suppose I win or something.

There are 5 days left until P returns. I can only hope it's all smooth and we can stick to a plan we created. I also hope she enjoys the surprise I have for her. I'll reveal what that is on Saturday before I go and pick her up. hee hee.

With a lot of luck and a little hard work I think I'll be alright. As for that catch I mentioned before It has nothing to do with P's issue of staying rather it's the issue of time. I know I've been working my way to wait for something and I suppose P is it. Her time is limited and I can always wait. The catch is her small amounts of time for her and I to be together. I know she's worried about it as much as I. But I have faith in my abilities to wait out anything life throws my way.

So I wait for my love
Within my room,
By a silent phone
I wait for my love
On her stoop,
To help us grow
I wait
On a bench,
On a corner.
For her to show

I shall wait
For her at night,
Her plane to land
I wait
For her soft hand,
To hold my own
I will always wait
For my love.

I wait for my love.

R