it all started on a rainy day... where it stops is beyond dreams
Today I woke up and saw the face of the only reason I can move these days. I made an official question seem harmless and the word "yes" never sounded so sweet to hear in my entire life. As I try to progress in this ever so brightening life I see only the sun in her soft brown eyes. Dreaming of her is only the begining.
Word of the day: Love
Song of the day: Steven Cravis - Through the Kaleidoscope
After some time to allow P her thoughts. I realized I too need a moment for myself and gather my ever rushed mind. Am pleased I shall see her today. Extremely happy to have her in my life. I'm scared I may become a goof-ball and muckup some things. I shall tred lightly for her sake as well as mine.
Where is the time:
I keep looking at my watch and finding that time is running faster than I am. Anticipation of her face smiling at me has my heart a flutter. But I feel like a train ever speeding down a blind track. Perhaps my thoughts are new and clear and I'm fearful of some negative force disturbing my perfect moment. Thoughts of my life moving in the right direction has me confused. I'm used to a push to a lower level of existance. Perhaps I'm not used to all this positive reinforcement P has show. Perhaps I'm scared of something. I have a lot to ponder as the hours tick away until I see my dear loving P. I want to be honest with myself as well as her. I can work through this.
Word of the day: Scared
...the wait is the hardest part.
I sit through my dazed ways at work and wish I could read the thoughts of my dear P. I suppose time shall work with me as always. Saturday will be a test of sorts I'm sure. I want to wait, but I want Saturday to get here quick. I'm a touch confused myself I suppose.
Work and coming soon SCHOOL:
Well I don't mind the part time work all that much with the coming prospect of me starting a college in the coming times. Although I have PLENTY of time to work on where I want to take myself on the education ride. But I'm not entirely sure how to run this road. I'm usually screwed when left to my own devices. I suppose an honest commitment is going to have to be made. A mind focusing commitment to better my skull and life. I've already started the ball rolling to get the idea on course into a full fledged plan. God will choose a path for me. I'm actually leaving that in his all too capable hands for once.
Word of the day: Wait
Song of the day: GLAY - Missing you
I am new to this type of thing. Expressing thoughts for the world to see. But I figured why not. It's not like I haven't anything to say. It's just I may have some thoughts that need to be expressed at this time.
On-line and the people within:
I've come across a number of good natured people on-line and found them to be real to a point. Recently I found someone on-line that completes some missing part of myself. As my eyes seem to be opening for the first time in many years to the world around me. My heart steps foward and starts to beat for this person. She shows an interest but lacks ways of expressing herself. I will hope to help her through her confusion.
I suppose some would like to know me as a person or know my history. I will post as I go along revealing who I am through my eyes and the past I've crawled through. As for this person I seem to be hooked on. I will call her P. Leave some mystery to who she is. But I will keep some thoughts on here about her and how I feel.
